Society today is very concerned about bullying and with good reason. So many times kids become outcasts and they become targets. It's a hearbreaking scenario and I can only imagine the pain these kids experience being picked on.
What about the kids that experience success? I was never one of those kids. I didn't have a natural atheltic ability to succeed in sports. I was not a brain by any means. I wasn't the pretty girl all the boys liked either. I was thankfully ordinary enough to have a few good friends but not so odd as to be picked on. I actually envied the girls who had all those great talents and looks. It wasn't until I had my oldest daughter that I realized that those girls probably didn't have it so great as I looked on.
My Kendell is 16 and she's a pretty girl. Boys like her because she's a nice girl, isn't terribly shy around them so while they are quite nervous they can feel comfortable around her and have a conversation with her. She isn't so hyper and airheaded and giggly that it scares them off. She also happens to be a great student and school has always come easy to her. Kendell loves volleyball and horse riding. Because she has a demanding mom (think Battle Hymn of a Tiger Mom) she has worked hard at both of those sports and has had a lot of success in both. It's a great joy to see your child have success in so many areas. I'm proud of Kendell. What isn't such a joy is to see her be the object of ridicule and nasty treatment by peers and believe it or not, other parents.
I cannot tell you how many times my 16 year old has come home in tears because of situations where the volleyball coach said something about her being good at the sport and giving her a varsity jersey as a freshmen and other girls on the junior varisty team telling her she didn't deserve the spot and even going so far as to quit volleyball because of my daughter.
We've had parents complain about her knowing all the answers in class. Suggesting that she not raise her hand to answer the question every time because it might make others feel bad. Yes, a father actually said that to her and I. The problem is, Kendell never raised her hand in class because she doesn't want people to think she is a brain.
Currently we have a mother at the barn where she boards her horse that has been just awful to her because Kendell is more advanced than her 12 year old daughter. Kendell is also more advanced than the 24 year old assistnat riding instructor and now Kendell is experiencing this riding instructor complaining about her being more advanced. They miss the fact that Kendell is 16 and has been riding since she was 6 and rides 5 days a week practicing so that she is as good as she is. And why on Earth would somone begrudge another person's success?
I just never thought being successful would cause a problem for a teenager but it almost seems it's worse than being unsuccessful.
It seems that maybe the safest way to be as a kid is just plain and ordinary. What a screwed up world we live in.
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