Talking with my mom on the phone today (as I do every day) she was explaining to me the findings of a mental evaluation that was done on my nephew. He turned 22 last month. Without going into too much detail (because typing it all up just depresses me to see it all in words) my nephew is in prison. Not for a violent crime but for child endangerment/neglect of his twin sons who were 9 months old.
So, this weekend my mother finally learns some of the information about the mental eval that was done this summer when my nephew was sentenced. He would not reveal to her the details at the time and she had to learn about it from his brother (my other nephew).
It turns out that the eval being done at the age of 21 reflects that my nephew has the mental capacity of a 13 year old. Due to a divorce of his parents and the stress / trauma followed in his life he stopped maturing at age 12 or 13. I can believe this. It seems accurate from what I have seen or know of my nephew. It also stirred up anger on my part that his parents did not help him and let him muddle through these years without giving him the love and encouragement to grow and develop but that's a whole other story.
My issue with all of this is; if the court system had access to this mental eval why on Earth did they put this young man in the prison system? Is it helpful to a mentally 13 year old physically 21 year old man to be amongst hard criminals? Will this time in jail help him to grow beyond this mental capacity and become the man he should be?
There is no doubt that a terrible crime was committed and that his twin sons suffered terribly. However, how much did he know and understand about the feeding of his children? Would you place your 13 year old who committed a crime in a prison with grown men who have committed murder and rape? The state of Iowa apparently does.
I don't know what will become of my nephew when he does get out of jail. It is possible that he will be there for a few more years. What went into prison almost a year ago surely is not what will come out. I'm a little afraid to see what will come out.
Monday, February 20, 2012
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Happy Cruddy Valentine's Day
I called my mom today---ok, I call her everyday----like 3 times a day. Today however instead of saying, "Hi Mom, what are you doing?" I said, "Happy Cruddy Valentine's Day."
Three out of five of us were sick today. Julia and Paul were the only ones that got off healthy for Valentine's Day. It does sound like Julie is coming down with the crud though.
I'm a terrible wife because I didn't even get Paul a card today. I didn't even make him dinner. He was so sweet about it. He came home with cupcakes and flowers for us and then went on to make himself a bowl of cereal and some toast for his supper.
I'm not going to get rid off this one. He's a keeper.
Three out of five of us were sick today. Julia and Paul were the only ones that got off healthy for Valentine's Day. It does sound like Julie is coming down with the crud though.
I'm a terrible wife because I didn't even get Paul a card today. I didn't even make him dinner. He was so sweet about it. He came home with cupcakes and flowers for us and then went on to make himself a bowl of cereal and some toast for his supper.
I'm not going to get rid off this one. He's a keeper.
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Kids really do suck you dry
Growing up my siblings and I never received special lessons or classes for music, dance etc. We did participate in school sports and I know that has some cost involved but it was minor. I don't remember lessons or classes even being available to us---we primarily lived in small towns. Would my parents have allowed us to be in such activities if we had showed a passion? Honestly, I don't think so. For a number of reasons. Firstly, the whole idea would have been foreign to them. People they knew just didn't do that sort of thing. Secondly, the financial investment required would have shocked them and most likely scared them away from such an idea.
I always wished that I would have learned to play an instrument or taken dance classes or even gymnastics. To have that "something special" that I did, have my "thing". Because of this I have jumped on any bandwagon my children have shown an interest in, much to my husband's dismay. :o)
We spend a large amount of money annually for our oldest daughter to train as an equestrian. One year when she was 8 I spent my Christmas bonus from work on a pony for her and year's worth of boarding. Is it a financial burden? Absolutely. Would I do it again if I had a second chance? Yes. My daughter has a work ethic that most grown adults lack and she didn't learn it in the classroom but rather at the barn.
That being said, I was taken aback to learn that we'll need to purchase iceskates for our youngest daughter now that she is taking lessons. Apparently rental skates from the ice rink will not cut it according to her coach. Those can't be purchased at Wal Mart. Her coach informed me her skates cost $1,000. WOW!!! Thankfully, Julia will not need that level of skates for some time but again, WOW.
Kids really do suck you dry, financially and emotionally.
I always wished that I would have learned to play an instrument or taken dance classes or even gymnastics. To have that "something special" that I did, have my "thing". Because of this I have jumped on any bandwagon my children have shown an interest in, much to my husband's dismay. :o)
We spend a large amount of money annually for our oldest daughter to train as an equestrian. One year when she was 8 I spent my Christmas bonus from work on a pony for her and year's worth of boarding. Is it a financial burden? Absolutely. Would I do it again if I had a second chance? Yes. My daughter has a work ethic that most grown adults lack and she didn't learn it in the classroom but rather at the barn.
That being said, I was taken aback to learn that we'll need to purchase iceskates for our youngest daughter now that she is taking lessons. Apparently rental skates from the ice rink will not cut it according to her coach. Those can't be purchased at Wal Mart. Her coach informed me her skates cost $1,000. WOW!!! Thankfully, Julia will not need that level of skates for some time but again, WOW.
Kids really do suck you dry, financially and emotionally.
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
What the doctors don't tell you
Watching television this afternoon I was reminded how important it is to do your own research prior to having a medical procedure done. Six years ago this would never have occured to me.
So today I saw a commercial for Mirena IUD. A lovely commercial spouting off how wonderful the IUD is. It was as if the IUD is an answer to all your family planning concerns.
I had the Mirena IUD inserted just prior to Paul and I getting married. I asked the doctor about it and she explained how simple it worked and how periods often cease (which mine did) and that it lasted for five years. Perfect! Not really. I didn't do any research prior because I tend to trust doctors completely.
What I learned 2 1/2 years into having the IUD placed was that it can prevent the fertilized egg from implanting in the uterus. My doctor never informed me of this. What this means is the IUD can cause an abortion because life begins at conception.
Guess how I learned this? Driving around one day listening to a Christain radio station. Why did I have to learn this from a radio host and not my doctor?!!!! I was devastated to think that I could have possibly conceived and then experienced the death my child. I was in tears.
The IUD was immediately removed by a male Christian gyno who told me most ob/gyns don't disclose that information. Can you believe that? Common practice not to explain the full effects of something as serious as birth control.
Going forward I make sure I do the research myself when it comes to my medical care.
So today I saw a commercial for Mirena IUD. A lovely commercial spouting off how wonderful the IUD is. It was as if the IUD is an answer to all your family planning concerns.
I had the Mirena IUD inserted just prior to Paul and I getting married. I asked the doctor about it and she explained how simple it worked and how periods often cease (which mine did) and that it lasted for five years. Perfect! Not really. I didn't do any research prior because I tend to trust doctors completely.
What I learned 2 1/2 years into having the IUD placed was that it can prevent the fertilized egg from implanting in the uterus. My doctor never informed me of this. What this means is the IUD can cause an abortion because life begins at conception.
Guess how I learned this? Driving around one day listening to a Christain radio station. Why did I have to learn this from a radio host and not my doctor?!!!! I was devastated to think that I could have possibly conceived and then experienced the death my child. I was in tears.
The IUD was immediately removed by a male Christian gyno who told me most ob/gyns don't disclose that information. Can you believe that? Common practice not to explain the full effects of something as serious as birth control.
Going forward I make sure I do the research myself when it comes to my medical care.
Monday, January 30, 2012
Because I'm scatterbrained
Typical of my scatterbrainedness (is that even a word?), I have the following random thoughts running through my head....all at once.
1. I think my dog has fleas. Apparently $10 Petco flea repellent doesn't work.
2. I hate the kids' homeschool co-op. There is so much homework every week most days they don't have time for other classes I teach. We're dumping this co-op at the end of the year.
3. Pay day is one day away and it is a day too far away. Honestly, where did the money go?!!!!
4. I miss all my house plants that I had in Iowa. Movers wouldn't move them so they went to my mother who promptly killed all of them. Ugh.
That is all for today. :o)
1. I think my dog has fleas. Apparently $10 Petco flea repellent doesn't work.
2. I hate the kids' homeschool co-op. There is so much homework every week most days they don't have time for other classes I teach. We're dumping this co-op at the end of the year.
3. Pay day is one day away and it is a day too far away. Honestly, where did the money go?!!!!
4. I miss all my house plants that I had in Iowa. Movers wouldn't move them so they went to my mother who promptly killed all of them. Ugh.
That is all for today. :o)
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Been in the house waaaay too long
Clearly I've been at home too long because when Paul announced that we had to attend a bbq at his boss' house this weekend; I panicked. Not panicked a little but major panic. I instantly was counting off a list of things I MUST DO in order to get ready for this informal get together.
1. Get nails and pedicure
2. Get my hair fixed....bad salon coloring job that I've just been living with
3. Get a spray tan
4. Come up with a fabulous side to donate to the dinner
5. Get new clothes
Yes, in my mind in order to attend this little gathering I had to do a major overhaul of self.
It became clear over the next several days that I have become an old hag living as a hermit here in Houston.
You know it's bad when you come out dressed for said bbq and your 11 year old is, "Wow Mom, you look really pretty" I was in jeans and blouse. She even suggested taking a picture of me.
In the end I looked fairly decent and they ate my salad (Texas Shrimp & Rice Salad). I may have freaked them all out as I was the only one not drinking alcohol. In fact the hostess asked me twice if I was sure I just wanted a water. Yes, I'm that boring.
1. Get nails and pedicure
2. Get my hair fixed....bad salon coloring job that I've just been living with
3. Get a spray tan
4. Come up with a fabulous side to donate to the dinner
5. Get new clothes
Yes, in my mind in order to attend this little gathering I had to do a major overhaul of self.
It became clear over the next several days that I have become an old hag living as a hermit here in Houston.
You know it's bad when you come out dressed for said bbq and your 11 year old is, "Wow Mom, you look really pretty" I was in jeans and blouse. She even suggested taking a picture of me.
In the end I looked fairly decent and they ate my salad (Texas Shrimp & Rice Salad). I may have freaked them all out as I was the only one not drinking alcohol. In fact the hostess asked me twice if I was sure I just wanted a water. Yes, I'm that boring.
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Stressing out over my kids' education
Our children attended a Christian school in Iowa. I felt so blessed that the kids could learn in a Christian environment. It wasn't perfect there was the fair share of drama and not very Christian behavior but for the most part it was lovely. It was also expensive. Along with getting more and more expensive it appeared that the quality of the education was decreasing. The school had gone through a phase of doing online learning for the high school so as not having to pay teachers. It was at that point we decided to homeschool the oldest two who would be juniors. Now with the move to Texas we learned that the private education is even more costly so we're homeschooling the 6th grader as well.
I find the responsibility of their education to be a huge stresser for me. Although we chose a school prior I never considered their education to be a stresser. I had left it up to the teachers. Paul and I had high expectations for grades and our kids met those expectations for the most part so there was nothing to worry about. Now here I am worried sick that I'm going to dumb down my kids.
My 16 year olds are tired of me asking them if they think they are learning, am I giving them enough, etc. "Yes, Mom we're learning stop asking me!" Well, I can't help it!
There was no way I was going to teach Science and Math. I hate both subjects and I know I don't have a solid enough understanding to teach them. They all 3 attend a homeschool co-op for these subjects. I think a lot of homeschool parents want the older children to work independently. That's just not for me. I feel like if I do that I'm just throwing a book at them and ignoring them. Our oldest two probably wish their work was done more independently though. I usually read their History lesson out loud and ask them to follow along. It's not that they are babies it's just that I want to be able to stop and have discussion with them. That's the one thing I valued with the traditional classroom setting; discussion. In Literature I always read 1 chapter out loud and then assign the next 2 chapters for them to read. This has been helpful when we read books like The Kite Runner. We stopped and did have that discussion which I think they secretly enjoyed.
My 11 year old seems to already understand all of the English that she's learning. This has made things easier for me of course because she is flying through things but I worry that we're wasting time. I chose what was considered the best English course for 6th grade based on reviews (Rod & Staff). Now I'm freaking out that she isn't doing enough writing so I rushed to Barnes and Noble and picked up a daily journal prompt so she can write on various topics each day.
We are however thriving in Geography. We might be taking it slow but I know the 11 year old is really retaining. We're not concentrating on what mountains or valleys are in each country, because quite frankly who really cares? But, we are delving deep into the culture and political dynamics. I'm not sure how many 11 year olds could discuss Russia's revolution of 1917 and then the collapse of the Soviet Union but my Julia certainly can. Maybe it's because I'm a lover of this kind of thing but I value knowledge of countries and their histories. Julia today has an understanding of where we are with ties to Russia and where Putin (president) is taking the country.
As with Julia I'm not freaking out that the 16 year olds are not doing enough writing. I do see them making the turn on reading. They both never had any interest in reading really but today they rushed to finish The Kite Runner because they enjoyed it so much. This really warmed my heart. I'm passionate about reading. They dread writing, I know that already. I'm am assigning them a 6-8 page research paper on the topic of their choosing. Hopefully if it's something they are concerned about maybe they will embrace the writing process.
Even though I find this teaching thing stressful I would rather be stressed and not able to sleep at night then send them off to public school. It's not the place for my children. At this point I'm not even really about negative influences on them in the public school setting but more that the atmosphere would actually hurt their hearts. All three have a love for Jesus and being in such an environment would make them heart sick for sure.
I find the responsibility of their education to be a huge stresser for me. Although we chose a school prior I never considered their education to be a stresser. I had left it up to the teachers. Paul and I had high expectations for grades and our kids met those expectations for the most part so there was nothing to worry about. Now here I am worried sick that I'm going to dumb down my kids.
My 16 year olds are tired of me asking them if they think they are learning, am I giving them enough, etc. "Yes, Mom we're learning stop asking me!" Well, I can't help it!
There was no way I was going to teach Science and Math. I hate both subjects and I know I don't have a solid enough understanding to teach them. They all 3 attend a homeschool co-op for these subjects. I think a lot of homeschool parents want the older children to work independently. That's just not for me. I feel like if I do that I'm just throwing a book at them and ignoring them. Our oldest two probably wish their work was done more independently though. I usually read their History lesson out loud and ask them to follow along. It's not that they are babies it's just that I want to be able to stop and have discussion with them. That's the one thing I valued with the traditional classroom setting; discussion. In Literature I always read 1 chapter out loud and then assign the next 2 chapters for them to read. This has been helpful when we read books like The Kite Runner. We stopped and did have that discussion which I think they secretly enjoyed.
My 11 year old seems to already understand all of the English that she's learning. This has made things easier for me of course because she is flying through things but I worry that we're wasting time. I chose what was considered the best English course for 6th grade based on reviews (Rod & Staff). Now I'm freaking out that she isn't doing enough writing so I rushed to Barnes and Noble and picked up a daily journal prompt so she can write on various topics each day.
We are however thriving in Geography. We might be taking it slow but I know the 11 year old is really retaining. We're not concentrating on what mountains or valleys are in each country, because quite frankly who really cares? But, we are delving deep into the culture and political dynamics. I'm not sure how many 11 year olds could discuss Russia's revolution of 1917 and then the collapse of the Soviet Union but my Julia certainly can. Maybe it's because I'm a lover of this kind of thing but I value knowledge of countries and their histories. Julia today has an understanding of where we are with ties to Russia and where Putin (president) is taking the country.
As with Julia I'm not freaking out that the 16 year olds are not doing enough writing. I do see them making the turn on reading. They both never had any interest in reading really but today they rushed to finish The Kite Runner because they enjoyed it so much. This really warmed my heart. I'm passionate about reading. They dread writing, I know that already. I'm am assigning them a 6-8 page research paper on the topic of their choosing. Hopefully if it's something they are concerned about maybe they will embrace the writing process.
Even though I find this teaching thing stressful I would rather be stressed and not able to sleep at night then send them off to public school. It's not the place for my children. At this point I'm not even really about negative influences on them in the public school setting but more that the atmosphere would actually hurt their hearts. All three have a love for Jesus and being in such an environment would make them heart sick for sure.
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